I am at a crossroads currently, and it is one involving my spending habits. You see, I’ve been wanting and wanting things, with no end to it in sight. Handbags, clothes, shoes, makeup, cooking tools, perfumes.. suddenly, I feel like I’m a vacuum sucking every want into my mind.
I am unable to find peace and satisfaction in what I already possess, which is more than sufficient for a person with an average lifestyle like me. These days, I comb through the internet to look at high-end brands and products, and I am feeling uneasy. Why? Because I never was this brand-conscious, luxe person at all.
Where did this downward spiral start? I can clearly pinpoint it- it is the day I decided to venture into fashion blogging. I’m not blaming this avenue of blogging at all- its just that I simply lack control, I guess.
But the biggest influence on my spending habits has been Instagram. When I created an account on this social media platform as a blogger, I started to follow other bloggers/influencers to see what they had to say. At first, I started observing and making a note of the products and brands they shopped for- I dubbed it as research. Slowly, my mind started to want these things too- and they didn’t really come at a cheap price tag. I am not working here in the US, because I don’t yet have a permit for it. And to keep item upon item to my never-ending list of materialistic lusts, it is exhausting.
I have to say this out loud- I have morphed into a person I didn’t think I could become. I know, it sounds so dramatic and exaggerated. But truth is, I don’t know what to do about my spending habits and wants anymore. I am trying hard to control these impulses and this vicious circle, but I keep falling back into the rut.
Every time I open my Instagram app, I see people have the best of wardrobes, money to buy whatever and whenever they want- and I get envious. I even went haywire shopping here, accumulating more in my wardrobe that I could have done without. Yet, I still want more of everything that could burn several pockets worth of money.
When will this fire stop spreading inside my mind, and how do I attain that satisfaction that curbs me from buying more materialistic stuff?
I am not against shopping or people buying however much they want- I just want to tweak my own mindset to a healthier, savings-oriented one. Not to say that I will completely stop purchasing, its just that it should be an occasional thing and not a regular one.
I want to be able to keep my wants to a minimum, and not get influenced all the time to buy, buy and buy.
I want to be able to look into the contents of my closet and say, “Well, that’s about all I need for a while now.”
It wasn’t easy for me to write this blog post at all, as I’m wondering if I’m the only one in this rocky boat. But if anyone else is out there too, please do reach out and tell me if you’ve gone through or are going through the same. And please throw a lifeboat out here or reach out with your helping hand, I need some (financial) saving.